I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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