shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
