i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
