I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just found a bag of teeth...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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