I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
