Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
