i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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