The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
