u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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