You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize