You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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