He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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