were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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