I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
