Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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