She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
