That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
