I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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