Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
