things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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