I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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