Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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