i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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