I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
