This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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