What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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