There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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