Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize