No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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