wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
