i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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