Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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