drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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