oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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