the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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