The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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