New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize