Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
