I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
