you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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