Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize