the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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