Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
