I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
