You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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