Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
with your own penis?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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