sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
