Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
