Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
