Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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