I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Boobs speak an international language.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
