seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
pray to the hookup gods
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
