I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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