i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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