I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
