Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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