dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
