Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
