Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
high people should be assigned attendants
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
