Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
